We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
There are million different definitions, quotes even poems to describe what friendship is. So I’m not gonna talk about that. I’m talking about building friendship.
Yeah, with the time, the meaning of friendship is changing. But still, making friendship isn’t all, it’s all about harvesting the friendship. And it takes time to grow an old friend.
Yes, we grow older but the number of fleeting friends is always higher than the number of friends we’re making. It hurts as we rarely can figure out the exact reason.
We all need friends and we meet some people who blew off us. We think, “Oh my God, he is so cool, witty and have a wallet which is more expensive than the money he keeps in (come on, he uses credit card nah).”
But few weeks later, you find, there is something wrong. He isn’t responding any of your mails, messages or scraps. You are confused and start feeling blue. You are thinking, “Is he ignoring me?” or “Did I do anything wrong?”
You are coming up with hundreds little possibilities and trying harder to get him back in your life. But the more you are trying, the more he is fleeting.
STOP messaging now! We need friends but don’t act like needy for friends.
If you are sending anyone mails, messages or calling him on the phone but you’re not getting any response, it doesn’t mean he is ignoring you. There are 3 different possibilities: first, he is damm busy; second, he is going through some rough phases of his life and third, he is really ignoring you :D
1. He is damm busy.
To be busy, no body needs to be Bill Gates. He isn’t responding you, maybe he really doesn’t have that quality time you deserve. Keep patience for 15 days, don’t bombard him with calls or messages. And then (after 15 days) send him a witty message:
“Hey,
Would I talk with your "Miss Work" so that you can get some time for yourself?
Let me know.”
If he really thinks you as his friend he will respond you. If not, the second possibility comes.
2. He is going though some rough phases.
Problem is a part of life and no body knows when it’ll knock at his door. And there are people who love a little space to rejuvenate himself in challenging time. It’s very sensitive, so be careful.
Though, it’s very tough to guess from the other side. That's why, give another 10 days gap and then send him a group mail — a mail you will send and address to every of your friends (including him).
“Hello everyone,
Really sorry, couldn't mail you all. It's so busy schedule here. So many new projects and friday is the deadline. But hope, you all are having a great time. (Then add a positive punch-line). God bless you all!”
That’s it. Remember, you are addressing to everyone but you are interacting only with him. Don't add fillers or your sentiment. Just let him know, he is your friend. If he thinks the same, he’ll come back as soon as he’ll pass through the odds.
Remember, absence to friendship is like wind to fire. If the fire is small, it extinguishes it, but if it’s great, it inflames it. Wait and see how big his friendship is. If he doesn’t come back?
3. He is ignoring you.
The tough one. In this internet age the “ignoring factor” is getting higher as making friendship is as easy as making lemonade — courtesy to “Facebook,” “Orkut,” and "MySpace.”
Listen!
Friendship is about mutual understanding. If the other person doesn’t wanna be friend with you any more, sorry, you can’t help. The more you try, the more he will ignore you. Better stop and let him go.
I know, I know, you both had a blast. You both made a dull moment into an exciting one. But if he doesn’t wanna go along with you, let it be.
But don’t hold grudges against you. Maybe some of your action ignite him to go different way but it doesn’t mean it’s your fault. If any friendship ends, ask yourself, “Did I give my best to make that friendship great?” If your answer comes as “yes,” you aren’t missing anything. It’s he who is missing a caring friend. Yes, it hurts but hold your head high.
It’s always better not to have any judgmental person as a friend than not having any. Bible says, “God doesn’t judge people until they die.” Then who we are, the human, to judge people in just few weeks?
You know, sometimes we need to meet people to find out that they are really our strangers!
You don’t need 100 friends. Yeah, you just need few GREAT friends – FEW!
Tell me one thing: when you find yourself with extra weight, what do you do? You do exercise to loss that extra fat to be in shape, right? We need to lose some judgmental friends to a have few GREAT friends.
Yes, losing judgmental friends is very, very, very necessary. It will help you to learn how to be grateful when you find a true one.
Remember! The part of loving is learning to let go. Because in this way, you’ll be lucky to find that person you are meant for.
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